I hear it ring in my ear. I’m thankful. But the voice is also met by a bully — another voice that talks a big talk and then runs away. It often scares the sh*t out of me. Rightfully so. Because it’s saying mean words. And mean words hurt. They do.
I have worked on techniques to shut that voice up. What works best is to pour hot lava on it and then confidently walk away. It will slowly burn and then you and your confidence walk the f*ck away. (Easier said than done, but let us at least try, together? cause we don’t have time for her.)
My name is Sydney, hi. I can’t wait to meet you. (That’s a very nice line, inviting, elegant, mature — all of the adjectives I aspire to be ;) . The Gut, both an instinct and organ, is something I have recently begun to appreciate and prioritize. I graduated from Brown University in May 2018. At Brown I studied Anthropology, and further explored my passion for understanding people and their communities. I began college extremely curious about fulfillment – what does it mean, what does it feel like, how can I feel it? I left with some answers and some words are still trying to find their place, but as graduation approached I kept hearing “Be Gutsy. Be You.” But how! I’m scared! I just want to curl up in a closet at my parents house! Hug my dog then grab my doll.
I was searching desperately for someone to give me permission to chase my dreams, to be ME. But then I opened my ears and heard my wiser voice “if you live life searching for permission you will never find it.”
I will now quote Oprah because at this moment in time it only feels appropriate, “Step out of the history that is holding you back. Step into the new story you are willing to create.” She’s literally giving us permission! She is telling us to write the story we dream, we want, we know lives inside us. But what’s holding us back? I will start with me — fear, self-doubt.
I found the problem is I haven’t fully given myself permission. So as I continue to “pour hot lava on” on the bully, I set out to continue to understand what it means to be Gutsy. Through The Gut project I will interview people to find out what Gutsiness means to them, how are they Gutsy, in what ways are they not Gutsy, is it good to always be Gutsy…and so on.
Please join me. Let’s work together to find strength and meaning in the moments we are scared.
I see love in you,
*ME - the most authentic version of myself. This is the ME I aspire to be 100% of the time.